The five years I lived with my girlfriends were some of the most transformative of my life. From before the pandemic to a few years after it, our quartet (Ju, Yem, Za, and I) made a home in Oakland, evolving from semi-strangers with varying degrees of familiarity (Za and I were raised together; I met Ju once while visiting Za; and Ju met Yem in church) into a family.
For me, their companionship, our little chosen family, appeared at a time when I needed it most: when I had just uprooted myself from the comfort of home in Miami and booked a one-way flight to San Francisco.
As we moved through our twenties, our relationships only deepened. We were each other’s confidant, each other’s cheerleader, each other’s voice of reason, each other’s sister. And if there’s one thing I loved about living with my girls, it’s that we knew we had a good thing, and we told each other as much, often. It wasn’t something that went unspoken or only realized in hindsight; no, right there in the present, we knew we were both lucky and blessed.
So when it came time to leave our shared home, the shift was significant. For weeks leading up to our last night in the house, I mourned the gift of our space and what it had come to represent for me–comfort, joy, hope, peace of mind. I was already missing the constant presence of these women I couldn’t imagine life without. But the transition was softened because most of us stayed in the same city, and for the one who didn’t—Yem—we all flew with her to her new home and stayed for a few weeks before returning to the Bay.
That was two years ago. This year, we were back living close to each other, able to recreate bits of our old lives with movie nights, birthday celebrations, and “just because” hangouts. But we knew our time together was limited, because Ju was getting ready to move away, this time indefinitely.
We were all so proud of her, of course. Our brilliant friend was off to chase her dreams and expand her world. But mixed in with the pride was some sadness. I’ve never been good with goodbyes, but as an adult, they feel even more difficult. This surprises me because I’ve spent most of my life navigating my closest relationships from a distance; I’m as familiar with goodbyes as I am with my own name, but maybe it’s one of those things that never gets easier. Or maybe, I’m just more aware of how short life is, of how much there is to lose.
So, just as we did for Yem a few years ago, we decided to spend Ju’s first days in Chicago with her. And this is how we found ourselves in the city for a week: spread out on airbeds in her new apartment, watching powdery sunsets from the balcony off her living room, walking hand-in-hand under Chicago’s dreamy blue summer skies, sharing laughter and easy, drifting conversation over meals at home and in restaurants, and savoring the precious time we had together.
Chicago was more than a week-long summer trip; it was the backdrop for something that is slowly morphing into a shared tradition with my girls. Or who knows? Maybe this is the last time we will get to do something like this for each other. But it hardly matters, because whether we can cross cities to support one another or not, I am certain of this: even when distance makes it difficult for us to be in the same place, our love will always show up.
Author’s note: I initially conceptualized this blogpost as a “highlights” post, where I would have shared about my time in Chicago through pictures and vignettes, but when I sat down to write, I couldn’t help but think of what brought us to the city in the first place, and so this story was born instead. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it, and I’ll see you back here in the new year.
Good to Know
Where we ate: Chicago is full of delicious eats. These are some of my favorite spots: Green Street Smoked Meats, Trivoli Tavern, Chiu Quon Bakery (cash only) & 14 Parish.
How I got there: I flew to Chicago O’Hare Airport via Southwest Airlines. Chicago has 2 major airports, one closer to the city center, Midway Airport, and one further out, O’Hare. I recommend checking both airports to compare flight prices. I compare and track flight prices using Google Flights.
Getting around: We got around with a combination of Uber, public transit, and walking. Both Google and Apple Maps are great for navigating Chicago.
As always,
thank you for reading!
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What a beautifully written note on love and friendships. I’m so glad you have these wonderful ladies in your life. Girlfriends are some of life’s greatest treasures. I’m also saving all the food spots in Chicago for when I finally visit.
Thank you so much my dear. They truly are; I can’t imagine a world without them. Ah yesss! I hope you enjoy when you dooo.
thanks for reading ❤️